Winter Romance on a Budget (By Nicole Dean)

Oh the weather outside is frightful

But the fire is so delightful

And since we've no place to go

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Winter is a wonderful time for romance. With the cold weather, the perfect stillness, and the additional time for snuggling, you can’t go wrong in the romance department.

There are countless ways to show love during the winter — without running up your credit card bill. Initiate the following ideas with your sweetie, and show him that your warm heart isn’t affected by the cold weather or by your budget.

* Light some candles or start a fire in the fireplace and enjoy the day together.

* Scratch his back or rub his feet.

* Bake cookies together.

* Read a book out loud to each other. As kids we enjoyed being read to, and the appeal is still there. Just try it and you'll see.

* Turn on the radio and slow dance to the songs you fell in love listening to. Or find new songs to rekindle your love.

* Look at old photo albums of yourselves when you were kids through your dating years. When's the last time you've had a photo taken together?

* Play a board game or do a jigsaw or crossword puzzle together. There are so many new fun games as well as the old favorites. Make it a priority to spend time together.

* Have a picnic on the living room floor. Serve some wine and cheese or order take out food. Even your ordinary sandwiches will taste delicious when served with the right atmosphere.

So, although the weather outside may be frightful, romance during the winter is definitely delightful. As long as you love him so - Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

http://www.RomanceYourHusband.com is a website dedicated to helping married couples stay friends and to help them remember why they married each other in the first place. Whether you're looking for words to show love or cheap-romantic-ideas, we can help.

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Here are the Regulations for Romance (By Rajeev Kumar B)

You know that you want to make your relationship with your spouse special and romance is the ideal way to do that. Romance keeps the passion and love alive in any relationship, but just like most good things romance comes with a few rules in order to make it work.

Romance can be planned or spontaneous and both are perfectly acceptable. Spontaneous romance is almost always wonderful because both you and your spouse are often caught up in the moment and you are both sharing an intimate experience together. It is often when you plan romance that mistakes can be made if you aren’t aware of the rules of romance.

The first and probably most important rule of romance is that your relationship should always come first in your life. While this may be a difficult concept for those who have put so much time and effort into your career, but when you are retired and cuddling with your spouse on the front porch you probably won’t be wishing you had spent more time at work. Everything in your life should be an outpouring from your relationship. Everything you do should be because of your marriage and the love you share with your spouse. When considering this idea, be sure not to mistake it with being the one in your relationship who must always suffer for the sake of principle. That can only hurt your relationship. A good marriage consists of two people who always support and encourage each other.

When you bring romance into your relationship, it is crucial that you understand it is your spouse who defines what is romantic. You can give her chocolates, flowers and jewelry until you are broke, but it won’t do a thing for your marriage if she doesn’t like chocolate, flowers and jewelry. The same goes for wives giving to husbands. Pay attention to his or her likes and dislikes. There’s no point in cooking a special meal all day long if he’s got a craving for chicken wings.

When two people get married and their lives grow together, there seems to be less and less opportunity for spontaneity. This isn’t a bad thing! Planning is simply creating the opportunity. Plan out a week or even an entire month of romance. Plan your Anniversary celebration. Plan a surprise night out on the town. The element of surprise is just as good as spontaneity. In fact, it’s probably better. You spent time putting thought and effort into your gesture. Impulsive is great, but planned can be better.

Romance doesn’t always mean presenting gifts. Gifts are wonderful gestures, especially if they are something he or she can truly appreciate but they cannot compensate for some of the more important romantic gestures in a relationship- special time with each other. Special time with each other doesn’t mean going out and doing things each weekend. Spending times together on the sofa or not rushing through dinner and enjoy each other’s company is very romantic. Give it a try and you’ll see how romantic simple time together can truly be!

Author is the editor of Special Feature section of newkerala.com, the Online newspaper published from India. Read more articles by the author at http://www.newkerala.com

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The Magic Wisdom of Love (By James Sniechowski and Judith Sherven)

What kind of wisdom pushes you in your choice of love partners? Often it's a wisdom that doesn't always meet the eye. In fact on the surface, it may seem like the two of you are so different that you'll not even be able to make it. But, with a full commitment to the totality of love -- it's those very same differences that will not only fertilize your love, keeping your lives vital and always changing, but will also spur you to greater personal growth.

Yesterday, Jim went into town for his morning newspaper and donut pick-up. On his way out, Judith handed him a form to take to the Library, so we could formally apply to use the Civic Center for a presentation we'll be making in September.

When he got back, Judith asked how it went at the Library. Jim looked surprised. He'd forgotten all about it and didn't even know where the form was! Well! In the early part of our marriage (we've been together 18 years, married 17) when this ditzy side of Jim would show itself, Judith would usually flip out. She'd get angry and scared and start crying in total frustration! Sometimes it would deteriorate into long, drawn out fights as we struggled to find our equilibrium -- because Jim never saw anything tragic going on and Judith always did.

You see, Judith was raised in a family that took getting things done "right" very seriously. So she developed a perfectionistic bent, coupled with a need to avoid "trouble" or getting into "trouble." (Can you identify with that?) That followed her into marriage and obviously caused a great deal of pain for both of us.

The wisdom in marrying Jim is that today Jim is still prone to being ditzy, but Judith has learned rom him that his "relaxed attitude" has never caused a catastrophe and so she has relaxed enormously and seldom gets upset anymore.

That's not to say that Jim is so relaxed he's dangerous. We're only talking about non-consequential issues. But it's often the little things that drive people into divorce court when they cannot tolerate each other's personal styles.

Please remember – the other person is not you. Your partner is not you. That may sound obvious, even simplistic, but the next time you go off on your partner because s\he or she hasn't done something "right" – in other words, the way you would do it or the way it should be done – you are insisting there's only one person in the world and that is YOU! Intimacy takes two and it's most delicious when the two aren't the same. Then the adventure of love can be wondrous and your relationship can stay fresh and vital.

Jim found the Library form in his office. He'd been distracted and left it behind. He turned it in the next day. Judith didn't even lose a beat on this one and got to celebrate her cool attitude and tease Jim, in a loving way, about his "absent minded Professor," which he didn't defend.

We both had a good time on our walk today talking about how much we've learned from one another and how grateful we are for it. That's what can happen through the wisdom in your choice of one another!

Take a look at all the ways your relationship, even if it didn't work out, was a very wise choice in terms of all you've learned from it! And be grateful.

Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski share the secret of life-long romance. Be sure to get your copy of their Free 1 hour teleseminar "Keeping Romance Alive," and find out how. Just go to ==>http://www.judithandjim.com

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Open Your Heart to Love (By Tim Ong)

Many people live a life without love.

They cannot love themselves, and therefore they cannot love anyone else. Some even feel that they do not deserve love. The sad fact is that without love, no matter what else you have in life, it's not enough. We need to love ourselves unconditionally in order to live fully.

The love I'm referring to here is not romantic love.

Love here refers to unconditional, universal love and respect for life - yours and everyone else's. We are all capable of this type of love. In fact, if we can strip ourselves of all our negative emotions, imprints and ego, what remains is pure, unconditional love. That is who or what we are underneath all the layers of impurities that we have accumulated.

The problem is that we have forgotten how to love. We have to learn to open our heart to love again.

OPEN YOUR HEART TO LOVE

There are four steps involved in opening our heart to love:

1. Acceptance

2. Forgiveness

3. Expression

4. Actions

ACCEPTANCE

First, we have to accept that we are capable of love - pure, unconditional, selfless love! We have to accept the need to express this form of love in our life in order to live fully.

FORGIVENESS

Next, we have to learn to forgive - ourselves and everyone else, especially those whom have hurt us in the past. Learning to forgive is not a choice. It is a neccesity! We need to forgive in order to heal ourselves and make ourselves whole again. If we cannot forgive, we cannot move forward. We will continue to carry old wounds and burdens with us. When we forgive, we let go of all these wounds and burdens, and instantly feel lighter and stronger to move forward.

Forgiving does not mean forgetting.

It means we're willing to let go of the past and willing to give ourselves the freedom to start afresh without encumbering ourselves with the old wounds. We remember the lessons without bitterly holding on to the pain. We do not wish to blame anyone anymore.

There are three types of forgiveness:

1. Forgiving those who have hurt us

2. Forgiving ourselves for hurting others

3. Forgiving ourselves for hurting ourselves

To open our heart to love, we must learn to love ourselves first. To do that, we need to start by forgiving ourselves for all our shortcomings and mistakes. We need to stop blaming ourselves. We stop blaming others and circumstances. It does not mean that we do not accept responsibility for our actions. What it does mean is that we recognise our weaknesses and mistakes and wish to give ourselves another chance to make our life work for us.

TO ERR IS HUMAN, TO FORGIVE DIVINE

Forgiveness is an expression of compassion. Our compassion should not be extended to just other beings but also to ourselves. If we are not compassionate to ourselves, it is difficult to show true compassion to others. So forgive yourself!

EXPRESSION

Our life is an expression of all our mental and emotional imprints. All these imprints find expression outwardly in our life sooner or later. The sooner they are expressed, the more liberating it feels. Bottled up inside, the negative imprints can grow into something potentially more harmful and malignant. We need to give these negative imprints a chance to be expressed so that we can release all the pent up energies we hold inside us - energies that can manifest physically as illnesses and emotionally as fear, anger, frustration, guilt, doubt and lack of self-esteem.

Here are some suggestions on ways to express youself and transform negative, pent up energies into positive, liberating energies.

1. Journaling

2. Sharing with trusted friends and support groups

3. Professional counselling or therapy

ACTIONS

Action here refers to actual acts of loving-kindness in our lives. Like all habits, we need to integrate this into our daily lives in order for it to become a part of us.

Here are some exercises to help generate more feeling of loving-kindness towards all beings:

EXERCISE

1. Loving-Kindness Meditation

Generating unconditional love requires effort at first. The Buddhist’s Metta Meditation is a good meditation to help generate unconditional love towards all beings.

2. Eliminating Prejudices

Universal love is unconditional and without any bias or prejudice. If you have a certain prejudice towards certain people or race, try to make an extra effort to love them unconditionally. For example, if you are biased against Muslims in general, make an extra effort to seek out Muslim orphanages or old folks homes to give gifts during a New Year celebration or a special occasion.

3. Perform an Unconditional Act of Love Daily

There are many things you can do daily to show your unconditional love. For example, we often do not notice the mailman, or the garbage collector. In the office, we often do not notice the tea lady and maintenance staff. Do you know who sweeps your office daily? Make an effort to know these people as a person.

Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor who has a keen interest in self improvement and personal transformation. In his free time, he teaches meditation and gives public talks. He is also the webmaster of MindScienceInfo.com. Sign up for his mind transforming newsletter by sending a blank email to transformnow@aweber.com.

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When You Love an Addict (By Stephanie Manley)

One of the hardest things you can ever do is to love an addict. Addiction is a vicious and an all influencer that very few relationships can survive. The addiction whether it is drugs, food, alcohol, or even the internet really doesn’t matter because that desire that your loved one will have will over shadow all. Loving an addict leaves you feeling empty and very alone.

Realize that the addition will over shadow all aspects in your relationship with the other person. When someone is consumed with an addiction that addiction comes before everything else. Your loved one does care, but realize that your loved one has something else that is more pervasive in their life. They still love you, but the nature of an addiction will place the desire and need to feed their addiction as the primary force in their life.

You will be faced with the choice of trying to compensate for them in their relationship. This may be trying to explain why they are late, why they are unprepared, and why your mate may be distracted. Eventually this will leave you feeling exhausted and empty. It will be at this point you will need to determine if you are receiving positive qualities out of the relationship.

It is important to be supportive of your partner’s recovery if that is what they want to do. If they do not want to recover, your best option is not to continue to explain why your mate can not cope with life as they normally would. You do not want to enable their misguided behavior; this will make it easier for them to continue their addition.

You may be faced with putting aside the relationship if their addiction grows to be too great. For some couples this realization is enough to help the addict reel in their addiction for others, they will simply part ways. A relationship with someone who has an addiction is worse than a relationship with someone who is involved with another person, as you do not lose your loved one to someone else; you lose them to their self.

Stephanie writes many more articles at http://romancelessons.blogspot.com

She is also the editor for CopyKat recipes - you have tried it in the restaurant, now make it at home. http://www.copykat.com

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Other Names for Love (By Sharron Myers)

Well, here we are in February and many people are celebrating St. Valentines. It is a good time to think about love and relationships to put a bit of warmth in our lives after a long winter.

Today, I would like to look at what love is. The English language only has one word for love and it is used interchangeably for almost everything. We can say I love my husband and I love Chocolate. Both are using the same word and it is only by the context that we can ascertain the difference. The Greeks, on the other hand, have four different words to describe love. Each word gives a different nuance to the word that helps us understand more fully what is being spoken of.

I want to look with you at the four Greek words for love.
These are:

1) Eros

2) Storge

3) Philia

4) Agape

Eros:

The first type of love we are all familiar with. Our English word Erotica is derived from this word. Sadly, some people never get passed this type of love and base their relationships purely on sexual attraction. This is the type of love that merchandisers tend to play on with the public trying to get us to buy their products to make us more attractive to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, aromatherapy is being misrepresented by these same people also to traffic their products. You would be surprised to see how many products are being offered specifically to attract the opposite sex using aroma.

Studies have been done trying to prove the theory of attraction through Pheromones based on animal instincts. I personally feel that attraction of a life partner is much more than the basis of his/her smell. In fact, it was impossible for me to fall in love with my fiancé based on smell as we met through ICQ on the Internet. It was impossible for smell to play any part in our meeting. Our relationship was based on character and friendship which later developed into love. You can say we met each other and we just clicked ;-) (pun intended) {by the way, we are getting married next month.}

So, the point is that erotic love is not a deep meaningful love but superficial and based on sexual attractiveness only.

2) Storge:

This type of love is what we find in families between the different members. It is the love of mother, father, brothers and sisters. This is a much stronger type of love and involves commitment. “Blood is thicker than water” and most people will do all they can to stand behind their families.

3) Philia:

This type of love is pertaining to what we might call a brotherly love. Not brotherly in the sense of family, but in the sense of kinsmenship. This is the type of love that makes us want to help the little old lady cross the street safely and watch out for our fellow man. It is a good type of love and helps us to see others as needing our love but, sadly, it can often also be a selfish love. Many people only show love to others if they can get something out of it.  Thankfully, most people love out of pure motives.

4)Agape:

The fourth type of love is called Agape love. This is the highest form of love there is. This is an unconditional love for others in spite of their character flaws and weaknesses. It is a difficult love to obtain simply because we, as humans, are usually concerned more with ourselves and how the world and people around us affect us. In order to love in the agape way, we must overcome our selfishness and look to the needs of others. Prime examples of this type of love are people like Mother Theresa, Cardinal Leger etc. These are people who look out for others interests above their own. It is a special kind of love that needs to be cultivated for it to grow. We can only achieve this type of unselfish loving as we put the needs of others as a priority.

Without getting religious here, I just want to tell you there is a verse from the Bible that fits well with this concept. It is called the Golden Rule. Luke 10:27, says “Love your neighbour as yourself” and "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." -Matthew 7:12 . All relgions of the world share in this same philosophy.

One thing that stuck out to me as I read these is that it says to love your neighbor as yourself. Sadly, many people in this day and age, don’t love themselves. If you don’t love yourself how can you love others? Unconditional love needs to start with you. You must learn to accept the fact that you are a special and unique person. Yes you have flaws, we are all human, but these flaws do not make you less of a person. Learn to love yourself in spite of your shortcomings and accept yourself for who you are. As you love yourself you will find it easier to love others.

The second thing that stands out is that the Golden rule says to do what you want others to do to you. This is not the same as “Don’t do to others what you don’t want them to do to you.” It is not a position of avoiding doing evil or harming others but an actual DOING of something for others. This requires action on your part. It says “DO unto others”. It is when we realize that we reap the rewards of love as we involve ourselves in the lives of others, making their lives easier and more pleasant, as we would want our own lives to be.

Enjoy the month of Love and remember always to love yourself and to DO something for someone each day.

This article is bought to you by Sharron Myers
Sharron Myers has been a teacher of Spiritual Truth for over 30 years. She also is a Certified Aromatherapist and Personal Development Consultant. Be sure to check out her site: http://www.sharron-myers.com

To Live the Life You Want, Learn the Skills You Needhttp://www.sharron-myers.com

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Rejection is Love's greatest Enemy (By Sharmila Sanka)

What if the Ocean rejects the rivers from merging with it? What if the Mother rejects her children and their Love? What if nature rejects the humanity? What if God rejects the devotion of His children? If the above are to take place, the world will go topsy-turvy. It is astonishing and abnormal for all the above to reject. It is not their nature. The thin invisible thread in all of them is Love. Rejection is the greatest enemy of Love.

To reject a person is easy but to love a being, it takes enormous willingness, humility and egoless attitude. No being deserves rejection on this earth. If one thinks he needs to be deserted for his sins, every human being deserves to be alone. To err is human. To blame it on someone else is not. When you point out one finger towards others, remember there are four fingers pointing towards you and your mistakes. If every being minded his or her own business, this earth would turn into Heaven.

It is not impossible but very much practicable to forgive and love the person who you think deserves to be rejected. Firstly, think for yourself how many blunders and mistakes you have done all your life. Let alone life, count your mistakes in a day and then multiply them with 365. There will be countless mistakes in just one year. Imagine the mistakes made in all the past years? It is then you will realize your mountain of sins hiding in heaps. We think it is natural for us to make mistakes at that point of time. But isn’t it natural for the other person too to make mistakes? Why are you not ready to accept him with the same feeling you forgave yourself? When you develop oneness with all the beings around you, you will never ever reject a being in your life.

Learn to forgive the people whom you assume as enemies. Hate the hatred and not the person. Hate the sin but not the sinner. If possible, help him overcome his weakness and mistakes. If you try to correct the person, he will be careful not to make mistake only in your presence. But if you correct the sins or his mistakes, he will never repeat them before any person in his life.

God gives and forgives; Man gets and forgets. Man is the creation of God and so ought to remain embodiment of forgiveness. But he is acting in the opposite. When God is willing to forgive our greatest sins, why can’t we try to forgive our enemies? No person is worthy of rejection. In turn, reject his negative attitude and try to change him towards good. Lead a life as his brother as you are all children of God.

Life is a rainbow of different colors. Even if we don’t like any color, we can’t separate it from the rainbow. Similarly life is a mixture of different tastes and various personalities we come across. Some are sweet and some are bitter. Yet life has to go on with all of them within it. Man is a boat sinking and floating with sorrow and happiness in the ocean of Life. They are inseparable. Man is born to accept whatever life bestows on him; not to reject. When he learns to accept all beings in his shadow of Love, there will be God at the other end of his Life’s journey just waiting to accept him in his heart bubbling with grace and love which confers endless bliss on Man.

“Rejection is the outcome of the contraction of your heart where as Love is the outcome of its expansion.”- Sharmila Sanka

About the Author

With pride that I have been blessed with a human form, I always craved to grab any opportunity in order to utilize this human birth to the fullest and at last I found the answer to my craving mind and it was no other than ‘Spirituality.’

My little heart panged for the desire to quench my thirst of ‘releasing the heaviness’ which resided inside of it since years. It hungered after the soul within asking to reveal more of life – Materialistic and Spiritual in the form of Articles and Quotations which had the sole purpose of sharing it with other human beings not for name or fame but to tame this little mind towards the higher goal of ‘Global Peace’ on this earth plane.

Sharmila Sanka
3910 SW Sycamore Street
Bentonville, AR 72712
USA
479-271-8278
sharmilasanka@yahoo.com

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